Proverbs 31: Biblical Advice For A Happy Marriage

couple arguing

Throughout the entire Book of Proverbs it challenges young men, to take on responsibility and gives them reminders to avoid getting stuck in the stage of adolescent thrill-seeking, something that I hope young Christian men and women will take to heart. Especially those who are married or planning on getting married in the near future.

When it comes to having a happy home, healthy self-esteem and a satisfying marriage, you can’t beat the quality advice found in the Bible. Many of the verses in Proverbs speak to these issues, and a deeper one, spirituality.

Is The Bible Still Relevant?

The past few weeks using Proverbs as a devotional has been a consistent theme of Brother to Brother. I wanted to remind Christian men that before the proliferation of daily devotionals, in the past few years, the Bible was and still is, the best of all inspired writings. When read daily, it can make positive impacts in the lives of Christian believers.

Proverbs’ 31 chapters contain enough wisdom for men to read one each day. And after researching the scripture references in their study bible, they’ll increase their scriptural knowledge and have a better understanding of the Bible’s message to males, in this generation. Because the message of the Bible is timeless.

Proverbs 31 Man

The themes presented in this chapter are often misunderstood. For instance, women are often referred to as “Proverbs 31 women”. You may be surprised to know that I disagree, yes, I take issue with that perception. I hope that there are some “Proverb 31 men,” those who have read this chapter and saw the need to become a husband of noble character.

The description of a person who is intuitive and uses their skills to provide for the family, in Proverbs 10-31, aren’t limited to the role of the woman. Just as all the scriptures in the Bible are directed to every Christian, these verses offer wisdom and guidance for men, too. Not just in verses 31:11&23, but the final verses of the chapter could just as well described a husband who is worth far more than rubies.

Man bathing children

I’m not taking sides with the critics who say that the church has been feminized or the feminist who say the language of the Bible is sexist, instead I’m speaking from the heart of a man who strives daily to walk closer with the master.

But, another thing I have noticed, is that when men marry a Proverb 31 woman, it has a tendency to shake up the norms that some people are used to having. I fail to understand why in the world would some men feel a threat to their masculinity, because their wives earn more money then they do.


The last verses reflect how marriage requires equal cooperation and high standards from both partners. It supports the main themes of Proverbs, that encourages us to be sober minded, to seek social justice and spirituality to ensure a balanced life and a happy marriage.

If your relationship is on the rocks because of finances or other circumstances and you need some additional resources to get things together, there is a another website ( that has some additional practical advice for married couples on “How Happy Couples Stay that Way”.

Christian Men: Principles From The Bible

man in front of sign post

Which principles dominate your decision making process? Decisions are based on several influences and knowing how to stay connected to the right influences, principles from the Bible, can mean the difference between failure and success of any goals or plans Christian men have for their future.

Years ago, when mean spirited deacons had the police arrest the pastor of their church for trespassing, it was biblical principals that guided the minister’s decision to continue preaching the Word of God. The urge to quit, and to seek vengeance were pushed aside and I. V. Hillard went on to found one of the largest churches in the U S.

First, he had to stay focused and fight the feelings that come when you experience a setback. He told about making a conscious choice to forgive the men that had him locked up. Then he came to the realization of how important it was to continue preaching, if not at that particular church, then he’d just have to preach somewhere else.

Proverbs 24, is filled with verses that can increase your ability to make sound decisions. Let me outline some bad habits that Christians need to avoid when they’re faced with challenges and need to overcome them.

Habits to Avoid

warning sign

Quitting: Proverbs 24:27 you have to cultivate a passion for finishing projects you’ve started.

Laziness: Verse 30-34 mentions the lack of sound judgment will result in you neglecting to do any work.

Vengeance: The verse in 24:17 says do not gloat when your enemy falls.

The Bible is filled with scriptures that you can read to increase your faith that God stands behind his principles. The right mix of self-confidence and God-confidence can be developed by practicing relying on his word. The Word of God and its scriptures will work for you, if you apply them correctly.

If you have never had the chance to listen to Bishop I.V. Hillard teach, you're missing out. why not sign up for the free "Changing lives through Faith" podcast from New Light over at I-tunes.

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Using The Bible to Win Against: Sex, Drugs and Alcohol

drug poster
(images from Google)

Do you feel burdened by your past, or do you know someone, struggling with addictions who wants to turn their life around? There is a way to have a better life. It doesn’t matter what type of problem that you may be experiencing, if you have God on your side you can find deliverance, from drugs, alcohol or any life challenging situation, through Christ.

Some of the scriptures in Proverbs 23 contains warnings to Christian men to avoid addictive habits, one of the traps the devil uses to rob them of a quality life. Whether it is drugs, sex or alcohol. The time period may have changed, but the same pitfalls await anyone who fails to heed the warnings.

They have always carried similar consequences, jail, death, or get help. Current facts tell us that these are not just words from cunning fables but words to live by. Addictions and abuse will continue to effect strong Christian men when they don’t heed the Bible's warnings.

Just ask Kwame Kilpatrick, the Detroit mayor who is being charged with committing a crime while in office. Others like, Heath Ledger, who died earlier this year of suspected drug overdose, or respected evangelical pastor Ted Haggard, who resigned from his ministry posts last year, lives have been damaged by failing to fully assess the consequences of their behavior.

How You Can Be Changed

IV drugs being prepared in spoon

Their two keys necessary to break the cycle of any addiction. First, daily surrender to God by acknowledging this truth: "I am powerless over this (sin)." And second, a strong support system. Men who have broken free from addictive lifestyles, surround themselves with others living substance-free lives.

It was these principles, Julie West Garmon, points out in “Battling the Devil's Drug”, a story of about, Danae Betzer, a young woman addicted to “crystal meth”, that can set anyone free of addiction.

Often called "the devil's drug," "crystal meth," or "ice," shatters lives. It can wipe out families, and even communities.
It erases basic life and job skills, the importance of proper nutrition, self-esteem, and good friends.

Sin Is A Dead End

Proverbs 23:30-35 addresses the dangers of alcohol addiction. It gives vivid details of the psychological effects of drunkenness, but God holds the key to deliverance from this and other sins that can so easily beset us.

While men continue to ignore these age-old warnings from the Bible, Alcohol reported that 16,885 (39% of total traffic fatalities for the year) where alcohol-related in 2005. And cocaine related abuse account for 4-5000 deaths annually in the US.

You Can Be Free

If you or someone you know needs help seek professional advice about treatment options. To let them know that you are sincere about seeing them get over this hurdle stand with them in prayer and through the treatment process.

Set Free, a Christian rehab center in Riverside, California, with a decent success rate, helped Danae Betzer win her personal fight with crystal meth. Now she and her husband are helping others escape this deadly addiction. You can read Danae’s remarkable story of recovery at

How to Say No and Still Be A Good Christian Man

guy kicking
(images from Google)

Are you are tired of being mistaken for Mr. Too Nice? Do you feel your friends, family and even your pet have mistaken your kindness for weakness? Let me share something with you, that can help change that image.

Many good Christians men are getting a bad rap because of their conviction to adhere to the scriptures in the Bible. We are the ones that back down from an argument or will turn the other cheek when we have been offended. Sometimes we fail to get ruffled by what people do or say, things that other people might consider as fighting words.

Nice Guy or Good Guy: What’s the Difference?

It’s not because we lack assertiveness are feel defenseless. It’s because of the power of God is at work in us, providing the strength to avoid strife. And we’d rather allow our lights to shine into this dark world than surrender our peace, love and happiness to the forces of darkness.

Real Christian men should never be a Mr. Too Nice, someone who is afraid to say no,
or is wimpy and let controlling spouses, friends or family members physically or verbally abuse them

A good Christian, will stand up for himself and others who are being mistreated. When people attempt to manipulate him, he confronts them about their habit. If they refuse to change then he knows that he’s better off not being around that person.

Good Guys Do Win

If you are one of those who are fortunate enough to be considered as a good man then you are in the best of company and there are some assurances in the Bible that you should know about. Proverbs 22 states that a good name is more desirable than riches. And in Acts of the Apostles it says, “Jesus of Nazareth went around doing good.”

Only you know you and why you do what you do. If you are sure that your actions are not because you have a problem handling conflict. It’s alright to give, share and be known as a good man, as long as your relationships are healthy and you’re content and feel whole.

If you think you have a problem handling conflict, there is something you can read to help you understand how to change that image. Check out former nice guy, Paul Coughlin as he talks about his struggle with being a nice guy.

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How To Be A Good Man and Still Be Tough

Mean Joe Green
images courtesy Google images

In the Bible, good men are those who challenge the world’s view of a macho man. Good men pursue wisdom and cherish understanding. The kind of wisdom that gives them patience and finds glory in overlooking an offense.

Men using Proverbs as a daily devotional, will find the 19th chapter encourages them to be good Christian men by reinforcing the verses from previous chapters on maintaining discipline, wisdom and integrity.

Some men see these characteristics as being undesirable, because they lack the guidance of the Holy Spirit and are more than likely being influenced instead, by what the popular culture sees as right.

Good Christian Men Do The Righteous Thing

In today’s society it seems that most men have more extramarital affairs than they have fingers to count them on. A disciplined Christian will not buy into this behavior, but do what is righteous and not what seems right to the average Joe. Proverbs (19:27-29) points out that a lack of self-discipline can cause some harsh consequences.

Why Good Guys Need to Maintain Integrity

It is rare to find someone who will falsely accuse a man who everyone knows is a person of integrity. I was once accused of using unprofessional language (cussing) when this was brought to the attention of my boss, she suspected right away that the allegations were false.
Since we often ate lunch together, she had never witnessed me using that kind of language in casual conversation and knew it was not part of my character.

The scripture in the 23rd verse of Proverbs reminds us that when we reverence the Lord, challenges that can destroy the lives of others, we are promised to overcome.

Good Men Can Be Tough

Jesus and moneychagers

If there is someone who needs to be shown tough love you can try this piece of advice. The very next time you overlook an offense, boldly state to them, “ because the Holy Spirit dwells in me I’m ignoring your actions.” There is nothing Biblically wrong with being tough and firm.

In the Gospel of Mark Jesus is confrontational and assertive. We can follow his lead when taking a stand against wrong, wherever we see it. Just remember you can be angry without sinning.

If you want know more about being a good guy without being passive take a look at this featured article “No More Christian Nice Guy”.

Why You Should Be Using Gods' Book Not Just A Good Book For Devotion

In reading the Bible and using it for a daily devotional Christians will begin to catch hold of the faith and reverence that has been encapsulated in the scriptures. Only the Word of God has the power to restore, refresh and renew the lives of believers.

Below each level of thought in the Bible lies something new, something deeper for those who diligently seek it during devotion.

Why Your Devotional Should Be The Bible

Devotion as used in it’s original Greek form implies that you are adoring or worshiping, so it’s necessary to reflect on what material, what manner, what method of devotion you choose.
The Book of Acts mentions Paul observing the devotions in Athens where some people were so confused they worshiped idols. One of the idols bore the inscription to the unknown God.

Now that’s not really sad, that their attempts to draw nearer to God were being lost by not having access to the truth of knowing which God deserved their respect.

The 21st Century Christian is faced with a greater challenge to remain focused on the one true God and the gospel. Each day new books touting today’s popular authors are placed on bookshelves next to the Bible. It’s as if they are suggesting you should pick one or the other. But we know that the Bible is the record left by God to be used for instructions and guidance for a faith-based lifestyle and a better life. One that’s pleasing in his site.

Understanding Devotion

Our devotion belongs to God, he alone is worthy of praise.

Our delight should also be in seeking him, serving him and studying his Word. The Bible puts it this way, delight yourselves in the Lord.

Our desire has to be, to put God first in our lives. That means that our spiritual development must become the one thing that really matters. It’s not the only thing, but it must be the first thing Christian men resolve to focus on in their life, and each day for the rest of their lives, if they want to experience the best life.

How to use your Bible as a Devotional

Christians have a lot of reasons for not reading the Bible. Here are a few that I found interesting. The Bible seems boring to me. I don’t own a Bible.

How often are you reading your Bible?

I hope that Christian men are applying some of the advice I’ve outlined to help them use the Bible during devotion. By now you should have discovered a few important keys to wisdom in the past 14 Chapters of Proverbs. Try making a personal list of 10 things that you feel are essential to your spiritual development.

To give you an idea of how to do this, take a look at this list I named 11 pillars of wisdom.

An unrighteous source creates an unrighteous destiny (Pr 13:11)

Righteous thoughts are fueled by righteous words (Pr 12:20)

The greatest rewards come from the Greatest (God) (Pr 9:10)

All of creation belongs to the creator (Pr 8:14-36)

I will hide the word in my heart that I may not sin against God (Pr 7:1-3)

The words of my mouth should line up with the Word in my heart(Pr 6:16-19)

Maintain discretion by maintaining discipline(Pr 5:20-23)

Watch where you walk(Pr 4:26)

Honor the Lord with my time, talent and treasure(Pr 3:9)

Walk in the Light of the Word(Pr 2:12-15)

Pattern your devotion after Jesus’ experience in the wilderness. He was led by the Holy Spirit into the desert - a place where there are no distractions without everything ( no food, no water). The only thing he needed and used to survive was faith.
Let the Holy Spirit lead you to the next level of understanding, wisdom and success.

How to Use the Bible for a Devotional

Now that we have established the mechanics of using the Bible to have devotion each day. Let’s get up to speed on using the scriptures for daily inspiration. Since were using a chapter from Proverbs for each day of the month, let’s go to the 13th Chapter.

Once you have read over the entire chapter to get and understanding of the topics being presented, you can began your focus on the first 3 verses.

How The Bible Relates to Your Life

It’s obvious, from the cradle to the grave, there is a need for guidance in everyone’s life. However, a wise son will be receptive to a father’s instructions. Are you receptive to the Father and willing to do the right thing? Or, are you busy doing your own thang? What’s the right thing?

Doing what’s pleasing in the sight of God. These scriptures all highlight the stark contrast between what may seem right to a man and the right thing.

The Fruit Of Your Mouth

What you talk about, your choice of words and the manner in which they're spoken have a longer impact than the brief seconds, the words fill the air. The scriptures compares our words to fruit.

Fruit taste sweet and carry seeds. Also, hidden inside them are beneficial vitamins and nutrients that enable our bodies to grow. To mirror fruit our words should be pleasant, sweet and plentiful. For they carry the seeds of our future. Do you allow good fruit or rotten fruit to fall from your lips? Read this article by Mary Wilke if you want more advice about changing your words.

Using a Bible Dictionary and Concordance

Now take a look in the Bible dictionary for fruit, and use your concordance too. This frequently mentioned phrase needs to really be understood. It’s the principle of applying it that we all have to master, if we want to enjoy the good things the Lord has in store for us.

Words contain seeds. Plant enough of them in fertile ground, and they'll take root and produce (like produces like)exactly what you say.

Remember to use your words creatively and wisely. Meditate on today's scriptures throughout the day.

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How to use the Bible for Daily Devotions

images from Google

The Bible describes in 2 Timothy how men can easily turn from the truth (Bible) to myths. It’s important that Christians be on guard in their personal studies against spending more time reading what others wrote about the word of God than reading the Word of God.
I’m a firm believer that God realized if we had to go to someone else to learn what he was saying that our spiritual growth could be hindered at the discretion of man.

I don’t want to be accused of that, do you? So I want to equip you to rightly divide the word. Let me give you some advice about using the Bible for daily devotion.

Here are 7 Strategies for Using the Bible for Devotions

1 Read Thoughtfully- Examine details by focusing on one point at a time.

2 Repeatedly - Go over every scripture again and again until you feel you know it’s principals well enough to move to the next one.

3 Prayerfully- Prayer should be used to open the door to your devotion time and to uncover the truths of the scriptures.

4 Selectively- Chose topics for your devotion that are in align with the focus of your daily and personal struggles.

5. Patiently- Slow down, don’t be in hurry to get to the next chapter or verse until you’ve learned and applied the current principle.

6. Imaginatively- Be creative by examining scripture from a variety of angles.

7. Meditatively- Let the word of God fill your mind.

By applying these steps repeatedly to every chapter and verse that you read, the Holy Spirit will guide you to wisdom, knowledge and to a better life.

In the "Religion News Blog" response to teens questions about cult influences Dr Billy Graham said

“cults always reject what the Bible teaches about itself.
The Bible alone is God’s Word — but cults add to it or substitute other books in its place.
One cult even insists that its “translation” of the Bible is the only reliable one — in spite of the fact that scholars universally reject it.”

Reading the Bible is not just a good idea but God’s idea. Anyone that says otherwise bears watching, because we don’t change God’s message, his message changes us.

How Christian Men can use the Bible for Daily Devotion

Did you spot a man in the beans? Searching for the right scripture can be just like trying to find the man in the picture.

Did you notice how once I mentioned him, you were able to find him? I want to help you find scriptures when you need them too. Let me show you how to improve your Bible knowledge.

The way most Christians use scriptures from the Bible as part of their devotion is to just pick a chapter and read it. That gives them some basic knowledge about the word of God, but little else.

The Bible warns
“in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons.”
To avoid this from happening to you, I encourage everyone to read the Bible daily and use your favorite devotional as a companion to the scriptures.

The Old Testament Book of Proverbs

Every verse of Proverbs is written to uplift and encourage. Solomon produced many of the verses to promote wisdom, discipline and prudent life.

It’s going to take the several editions of Brother to Brother to give Christian men enough effective ways to use the Bible for devotion. So, go ahead and get the free RSS feed direct to your desktop, I don't want you to miss the rest of the post on this month long topic.

The Bible as a Devotional

Here is an easy method for studying that will get you started until the next post of Brother to Brother. Then, I’ll reveal some unique and creative ways I discovered, to use Proverbs as part of your daily devotion, to build character, relationships and words that are pleasing to God?

To find the pearls hidden inside Proverbs and other books of the Bible. First, you will need a Bible dictionary and a concordance to help you drill down each scripture.

Next, read a chapter of Proverbs each day then every evening review it to see how much you can remember and whether you have applied its principles that day.

The Bible is unique in that the scriptures were written through Gods inspiration of various authors over a period of hundreds of years. Its contents cover many aspects of life. Its subjects range from history to poetry, it speaks of events that occurred in the past and through understanding it, you’ll get to the know the truth about things yet to come.

Don’t forget, hit the RSS button for the free feed direct to your desktop, so you don’t miss the rest of “How Christian men can use Proverbs for daily devotion.”

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What Christian Men Want in Life

If you could find four things that people want most in life, these are the four that will be on just about every Christians list. Of course these aren’t the only needs or wants people have. These are important because they have both a spiritual and a physical component.


Many people work hard to acquire things to try and become happy.

You may know someone who has lots of material possessions or financial resources that offer them a higher level of contentment, but not real happiness. Others want to be a member of all the right circles of influence, but lack quality relationships with their family.
In the Bible Paul said, “I think myself happy.” The best kind of happiness comes from within.
If you allow things or other people to control your happiness, they may hold your happiness hostage.


Having all the money in the world won’t matter if you are unable to enjoy it.

Many of us neglect our health while we are young adults and end up suffering from diabetes, cancer and liver problems. There are only a few health related problems that can occur that can’t be controlled by medication, diet or exercise. By paying attention to your diet, following the advice for taking your medicine and participating in some type of exercise routine you’ll have better health


You can define hope simply as being optimistic about life however, there is a lot more that goes into being hopeful.

It’s only realized when you have reached the point in your spiritual maturity where you learn to set your hope in God. By making the choice to allow God to control the momentum, to change any situation, on your behalf. It makes for a better outlook even when trouble hits you squarely between the eyes.


This is not the three bedroom, three bath, estate that most people dream about, that’s a house. We all need a base of operation, a place where you feel safe and secure.

This home is a attitude of comfort. It’s also a feeling that the things that you value in life are safeguarded. Your family, your future, your salvation. That’s right, salvation is important. What real benefit will it be, if a Christian man gains the whole world, only to lose the chance of having a better life in the eternal kingdom of God. Do you really want to risk that?

If you are missing anyone of these four ingredients, you probably are not comfortable with your situation. Do you have a desire to change this, then you are a candidate for a better life. If you read John 10:9-11 it describes a life that is available for anyone who will put their faith in God.
Do you think people can find happiness without God?

Resources for Christian Business Men

During the past month I listed some basic business resources, for Christian men who have their own business or interested in starting a business. My focus was to direct you to the wealth of knowledge that is available on using your faith in the workplace.

Here is a recap of the topics:

How to Combine your Faith and Business

10 Tips on Marketing your Product to Christians

5 Things Christians Can Do to Build Their Business

Solving Business Problems Using Biblical Principles

Should Christians Share Their Faith in the Workplace

Starting a Part-time business

Managing a Successful Business using the Bible

Characteristics of Successful Christian Businessmen

I know that some Christian brothers, struggling with their businesses, have personal battles trying knock them out of the box by weakening their faith. That’s why I included articles to encourage you and assist in broadening your shield of faith, during February.

Should Christian Men Drink Alcohol

Principals for Successful Prayer

5 Signs of Low Self-Esteem Christian Men Should Know

If you are still harboring thoughts about illegal or barely legal methods of improving your income, you need to take a peep at fellow blogger AverageBro. He fillets and grills a proposed legislation, to tax street-level dope boys.

We have made it to March and to help you march on through the rest of the year, there are several great goal setting and self-motivational articles, I’ll be making available to Christian men this month. As Bishop T. D. Jakes says, get ready…get ready…get ready.