The Self Esteem of a Religious Man

man sitting on mountain
(images from Google)

It’s easy for religious men, to take a hit to their self-esteem if they attempt to search, without the guidance of God, for their life’s passion or purpose.

You have to expect that things will be tougher when you‘re climbing the hills and mountains you will encounter in life. However those same hills and mountains will become an inspiring part of the landscape when you see them from a distance, later on in your journey.

Searching For God

We all go through confusing periods of searching, searching for who we are, searching for a career or maybe you’re searching for a church family that will welcome you. It’s during these periods that Christian men can start to feel disconnected, as they outgrow things that were once important.

Without a constant infusion from the Holy Spirit, it’s easy to get frustrated and just give up searching or become enamored with the process and remain continuously searching.

Fernando Ortega’s search began when he was 13 years old. Can you imagine a Hispanic kid, raised in the traditions of New Mexico’s Presbyterian church, embracing Eastern mysticism and praying to Gandhi?

You may not recognize his name, but it’ll only take a few bars of one of his Dove Award winning songs, for you to know that he has finally found his passion.

bicycle in a suitcase

Preparing For The Christian Journey

You have to condition yourself for the rigors of the Christian journey. There is no magic that’s going to overcome you once you have been born again and change you into a mythical hero, who will live happily ever after. It’s through diligence and purposeful effort, seeking daily or hourly if necessary, guidance from God that men inherit the promises found in the Holy Bible.

Dr. I V Hilliard, founder of New Light Christian Church stated,
“It takes a preservering attitude to remain connected to your passion.”
His recent sermon on obtaining a “Better Life” highlighted several key principles that can give your self-esteem that needed boost when the going gets rough.

How To Have a Better Life

Sure, life for men that are religious believers should be better than life was as an unbeliever. First, you have to change a few things. When you’re doing the same old things, you’re going to get the same old results. Once you’re walking in obedience to the Word and spending time in prayer seeking guidance from God, things will get better.

There is more to enjoying a better life that you should know, so let me guide you to the article where you can read more about Fernando Ortega and his journey. Then I suggest, if you want to really get motivated, listen to one of Dr. Hilliard’s “Changing Your Life Through Faith” broadcast on I-tunes.

Key Principles for Christian Businessmen

Les Brown tells his life story

Overcoming the many challenges in life requires something more than just luck if you’re going to reach your full potential. Christians can apply faith to overcome any adverse situation or challenge they’re facing in business. This is an important ingredient for Christian businessmen if they want to reach the highest levels of success.

When you finish reading about the key principles, listen at world renown speaker, Les Brown tell his life story, and see if you can identify these principles at work.

Seven Principles of Faith

Desire- everything starts with a desire. The desire for increased sales, a home, a life where you can provide everything that your family needs and a few of the things they want, too.

Decision- you have to make conscious choices all day long. You can decide to change your life or to keep doing what you have been doing or make some changes to get better result than what you have been getting.

Determination- this is your will to succeed. How bad you really want something will shape the amount of time and effort you put into working towards getting it.

Discipline- is an enforced obedience. It comes from having your mind made up to do, what you’re supposed to do, even when you don’t feel like it.

Discovery- comes when you gain knowledge. For Christian it’s knowing that God help those who lives are in agreement with his commandments and the teachings found in the Bible.

Delight- a high level of enjoyment. The warm fuzzy feelings from doing the right things that enable you to enjoy the fruits of laboring in your business.

Destiny- an obtainable goal. Your destiny is not just what you want it to be, but reaching God’s purpose for your life.

Now let’s look at how these principles of faith work together to benefit Christian business owners.

Desire moves you to make a decision about a business opportunity, depending on how bad you want it, you begin to apply your determination. Using discipline you to stay the course, despite fear and other hurdles. Soon you begin to discover that as a result of your discipline and obedience, God is opening doors and moving the hearts of key people to help you. This brings delight to your spirit as you proceed to knock down walls and overcome problems that try to hinder you from reaching your destiny.

The most important step of the process starts with your faith (James 2:17). The more you walk by faith, without regards to your feelings, you’ll begin to see these principles at work. They will consistently guide you to greater levels of success in business. Then you’ll want to tell everyone you meet about the remarkable things, that having faith in God will do towards helping their business succeed.

"Seeking" The Key to Using The Bible

man in cloud

If you find it difficult to relate to the scriptures because they seem as distant as the time in which they were written, maybe, God is calling you to drill down into his Word. Don’t be reluctant, use other books too, and dig deeper to find more about the culture and the historical background to gain a clearer picture of the promises from the Bible.

We are encouraged to “seek ” throughout the scriptures. One of my favorite verses says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” (Mt 6:33). Look at it this way, the amount of time you spend searching the Word of God will dictate how much knowledge you’ll have at your disposal, when your face to face with lack, temptation and sin.

The best part of spending time in the Word, are the deposits from the Holy Spirit. Peace, joy and knowledge are residual effects of studying the Word of God. Learning the principal of “seeking” the Word for answers, is what helps Christian men to reach a deeper level of understanding of how to walk by faith and not by sight.

Seeking and believing are essential parts of the Christian experience. In a recent article in “Decisions” American Evangelist Billy Graham, sated “believing is as real as any experience”, but most people are looking for something more, many seem to expect an electric sensation, or a manifestation when they become Christians.

Grammy award winning Gospel artist Andrea Crouch has a song that described a similar attitude. It says, “you don’t have to jump no pews, run down no isle, all you have to do, is be born again.

You’re saved by trusting in the Word. Christ said (John 14:17-18) “ The world cannot accept him for it neither sees him nor knows him, but he lives with you and will be in you.” Maybe that’s too simple?

The Bible: A Guide For Marriage

bride with shotgun
(images courtesy Google)

When your marriage or relationship starts to experience more downs than ups where can Christian men find honest answers and guidance through those rough spots? The Bible of course.

I’m sure you have heard it said,
The Bible has the answers to any questions about life and you should read it everyday.
But how many husbands actually follow this age old advice, to seek the Lord? Well, I want to let you in on something, spending time with God is the best way to gain the insight and knowledge required to overcome any challenges that you may experience in your marriage.

How To Create A Peaceful Home

The demands of married life can best be addressed by researching the scriptures for keys to a happy home. Because Christians need biblical knowledge to access the peace, love and joy that the Holy Spirit deposits in their hearts. A good example from the Old Testament (Gen 25-27) can be gleaned from how Isaac was able to maintain his marriage. He learned to be accepting of Rebekah’s a strong will, even though she constantly puts what she wants and needs before that of any one else.

Just as daily living is filled with challenges you can expect your marriage to have similar issues. Especially since, both men and women view most situations from very different perspectives.

How To Strengthen Your Marriage

There are couples in The Bible whose marriages experienced many of the difficulties that plague husbands and wives today. You can learn from their examples, the role God played in their lives, and how they overcame problems. These stories can become your source of moral support and encouragement.

Christian author Liz Curtis Higgs examines marriages found in the Bible in some of her books. Her latest series about women in the Bible, is an intriguing look at how to avoid tragic mistakes and joyfully embrace God's grace. If you’re not into books I found a short article she wrote for about “Pushy Wives and Pushover Husbands” that will open your eyes about marriage relationships too.

Free Stuff

Keeping in step with my weekend tradition on this site I have got another great web find to share with everyone. This free stuff is from the Creation Science Evangelism website, where the marriage of theology and theorist combine to provide great resources that discuss interesting topics.

Their podcast and video titles range from “The Age of The Earth” to “Dinosaurs and The Bible”. I’d like to thank blogger Chris Jones over at the site ( for the heads up on this great free stuff find.

Christian Husband Pleads Guilty To Assualt

It's easy for Christian men to allow emotions to overwhelm them, but don't risk doing something that you'll be forced to pay for later. It may cost you a lost of respect, trust and even your family. You may remember the headlines about Bishop Weeks and his wife's very public argument that landed him in front of a judge. Here is what happened in the court room according to the report on

Bishop Thomas W. Weeks pleaded guilty recently to assaulting his wife, prominent evangelist Juanita Bynum.

Weeks was sentenced to three years probation, 200 hours of non-church related community service and ordered to undergo violence and anger counseling. A restriction barring him from communicating with Bynum was lifted. His record will be cleared if he completes the terms of his sentence, as reported by The Associated Press.

After a personal plea from Bynum initiated by Weeks' grandfather prosecutors did not pursue jail time for Weeks. Bynum said that she was overwhelmed by Weeks' grandfather's plea.

If your arguments are getting heated and it seems that they are becoming more and more frequent, get help? If your relationship really matters. See the full story at

What Makes Christian Men Happy

(images courtesy Google)

Are you a Christian man who is still in search of happiness? Is your happiness being held ransom? The answers to these questions, depend on whether or not you have ever experienced true happiness. The kind of happiness that’s so contagious, you’ll want to pass it on to others.

When you’re happy, there are chemicals that flood your brain that give you an instant high, that your body craves. Happiness is addictive, it’s so powerful that when people desire it, they will do almost anything to obtain it.

Unfortunately, most Christians and especially men, have been conditioned mentally to experience a counterfeit happiness. One that based on their current emotional state in life and provides only a momentary sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, pleasure or enjoyment.

Many people have been convinced to pursue this type of happiness instead of God’s plan for happiness, for their life.

Counterfeit Happiness

man getting gift

In order for you to understand how to obtain real happiness, let me point out several ways Christians experience happiness.

Sin happiness- this brings a temporary euphoria from doing whatever their mind desires, but we know that the end result of sin is destruction.

Synthetic happiness- there are drugs that can trigger the chemicals in our brain to give us a euphoric feeling of happiness but it only last for a short period and you have to take more drugs to be happy again. This type of happiness leaves you in a hopeless state of addiction.

Stuff happiness- this is when people have to constantly get stuff to make them happy. Some people can only be happy when the get stuff like jewelry, money and material possessions. Because it too is a short term happiness, when stuff gets old, they no longer bring us the same level of happiness.

Did you notice the flaws with these concepts of happiness?

God’s Plan for Happiness

Spiritual happiness on the other hand, is a level of happiness where stuff doesn’t matter, where sin is not an option and synthetic happiness doesn’t even come into your understanding.

Most of us have been convinced to pursue counterfeit happiness for so long that we’ve neglected to give any attention to obtaining true happiness, that comes from following God’s plan for happiness.

According to Proverbs (Pr 3:13) Christian men who gain understanding and wisdom will be happy.

Why Are Christian Men So Happy

The Psalmist describes it this way in the Amplified Bible, (Psalms 34:8) O taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy, fortunate, (to be envied) is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him.

Happiness depends on your awareness, your perspective, and how you process what’s happening. You have to maintain a clear understanding that, because you have made the Lord your refugee, he is always near, nothing will come your way that you and God can’t handle.

That’s why Christians can be happy from the time that get up each morning, till they lay down at night, regardless to how bleak the situation looks, around them.

Free Stuff

Here is my latest free stuff find, Educause Connect. is a repository for information concerning use and management of information technology in higher education. It gives you a chance to hear from experts, peers and colleagues on the latest emerging technologies on learning. Their free resources include articles, books, conference sessions, contracts, plans, policies, position descriptions, blog and wiki content. I recommend the powerpoints and webinars that allow you download and save relevant information.

Self Esteem Building for Christian Men

How healthy is your self esteem? Nobody is always up, or down for that matter. During 1986, 46-year old Jack Nicklaus was considered a has been and a used to be. He hadn't won a major tournament in six years and had won only a handful in the previous eight. One major newspaper declared him "done, washed up, through." Later that year he proved them wrong.How can Christian men combat the thoughts that come when it seems your critics know you better than you know yourself?

By not allowing the challenges of our daily experiences to negate the positive messages from our internal voice.

Building Self Esteem

We all need and crave a periodic boost to increase our self image. It’s one of the reasons that men surround themselves with a network of friends, family members and associates. But it’s what that tiny voice inside your head is saying to you, that makes all the difference.

To build self esteem you have to be true to yourself by acknowledging your strengths and limitations. Another important step is to accept and value yourself unconditionally.

“The Bear” was able to overcome any self defeating thoughts and raise his golf game to a level above par. While Nicklaus's rivals stumbled, he shot a 30 on the back nine at Augusta, and 65 for the day. He went on to win the Masters that year. In one impossible afternoon, Nicklaus proved age was relative and anything was possible.

Cat in mirror
(image from Google)

Understanding Yourself

The picture you have of yourself is rooted in your childhood experiences. Our self-esteem continues to develop and evolve throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities.

According to the University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center, “Our past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an Inner Voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating messages to us.”

Self Nurturing

Boy in Mirror

Try using one or more of these 4 techniques for self-nurturing. They were developed from recommendations at the counseling and mental health website.

Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic
The first important step in improving self-esteem is to begin to challenge negative messages, if you’re experiencing a critical inner voice.
Step 2: Seek Spiritual Guidance
Use prayer,meditation and the bible to maintain a personal connection with God, who’s looking for those who are faithful to show himself strong on their behalf.
Step 3: Practice Self-Nurturing
Make a list of things you like about yourself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations where you can see them.

Step 4: Get Help from Others
Teachers, friends and Christian counselors can provide advice or recommend other types of professional help, if you need it.

Building Your Mates Self Esteem

Sometimes you may find yourself being a cheerleaders in someone else’s corner. As a husband and father, you should want to support and encourage your wife and children to become who God created them to be.

If you want to find more facts and discussions about building self-esteem try these helpful resources.

Share the Dream

(image from Google)

Many prominent African Americans gathered in Birmingham, Alabama, yesterday to commemorate the 40th Anniversary, of the death of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The man who inspired African Americans in the U.S. to use peaceful means to seek an end to repressive Jim Crow laws that were causing a rift in the fabric of the American Dream.

Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Leonard Pitts Jr. gave a moving account of that day in April 1968, when Dr. King was slain. In his column in the Miami Herald he wrote, “ Greatness and grace were desperately needed in those frightening hours. On the night Dr.Martin Luther King was killed, furious black people mourned the man of peace by making war. Rocks and bottles were thrown in Jackson, Miss. Tampa police had to move in with bayonets fixed to disperse an angry crowd. A furniture store in Houston was torched.”

To read this entire story and the comments from his readers, visit

I was reminded, the leader of the movement died that day but not before the dream had been passed on to others.

Dr. King's Legacy

God who was the strength and guiding light behind Dr. King continued to open the windows of opportunity for African Americans. After centuries of being denied civil rights and equal opportunities, schools, jobs and businesses reluctantly accepted, change was going to come.

The man and the movement he gave his life for, are mere memories and stories, that have been retold for the past four decades. It will forever remain a story that needs retelling, for generations, lest we forget whence we came.

For Your Inspiration (FYI)

There was another website that I stopped in on, and found a stirring video that began with a baby being born in prison. As I found out, it’s not such an unusual happening.

An inmate giving birth is almost an everyday occurrence in California. Last year more than 300 babies were born to women incarcerated by the state, and at any given time, about 1 in 10 of the state's female inmates is pregnant, according to the San Francisco Herald‘s article, “Babies Behind Bars.”

Check out this story about a young man who was born in prison. It comes from You Tube and the 700 Club via

Free Stuff

Sure, I’ve got a tip on where to find the best free stuff. This weekend I’ve located some great resources for Christian businessmen who want to take their businesses to the next level. It comes from TomPeters.Com, his personal stash of slides. They are filled with tips on achieving excellence in the marketplace. Just look for the free stuff link in the right hand column.

Why Men Don’t Go To Church

Have you heard discussions about the feminization of the Church. Well, I recently read a couple of articles tackling this issue as if it were fact. Both pointed to several factors that I think really show that the Church isn’t undergoing a new trend, it’s simply reflecting the population disparity of women to men.

One author tries to apply a broad generalization that most men don't like church because there are too many women. My personal experience has been that not many guys will feel offended, being in the presence of an abundant supply of women.

Missing Fathers of the Church, by Leon J. Podles discussed his book "The Church Impotent: The Feminization of Christianity," in the article he stated "I examine the lack of men in the Western churches, which only the unobservant doubt."

Some of his other observation were:

Men claim they believe in God as much as women do, but men go to church less than women do and pray far less than women do?

These differences are neither recent nor limited to North America.

In seventeenth-century New England, Cotton Mather puzzled over why his congregations were overwhelmingly female.

Latin men are notoriously resistant to going to church.

Christianity, is largely a feminine affair in Western society.

Outreaches For The 21st Century Male

I feel his thesis has failed to uncover any of the real reasons some men stay away from church. And I don’t think any Christian man would agree with his assumption,that it’s because they regard church as a threat to their hard-won masculinity.

The other article in question was was a news story “Face of Christianity Will Soon Be Black” where a Christian Today writer reviewed Dr Kwok Pui Lan comments to an audience, at Lexington Theological Seminary in Kentucky.

They were told that by 2025, Africa is projected to shoot up to 634.6 million Christians, mostly women. While numbers in Latin America will reach 634.1 million, and Europe will fall to 531 million Christians.

This picture of the typical church doesn't take into account the continued growth of men's ministries. In some U S churches they're outreaches target groups of hunters and fisherman, Christian men who find it hard to chose between attending Sunday service or miss a weekend of their favorite pastime.

The church has been successfully addressing their needs by offering more non-traditional style gatherings outside its hallowed walls. This style of evangelism will spread to more parts of the world and reach more groups of men. One day, even Sunday sports fans, couch potatoes and others will be ministered to, in their comfort zones.

Fewer Men at Church But More Men Attend Church

I think these gentlemen are really missing the mark in their predictions and remind anyone who reads these articles to remember that they are loosely based on factors that can change, at any time.

I have noticed the imbalance in female participation in church and I’m receptive to the women who are being led to the clergy, by the Holy Spirit, but I refuse to accept that this has a negative affect on my psyche or that of any other red blooded male.

In fact I sense that, fewer men are turning away from faith, many just aren’t very active in the programs of the church. We men really aren’t as archaic in our thinking as these authors portray us to be. Are we? I may be wrong, but that’s just my opinion.

What’s yours?